slumlord
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Wednesday, January 22, 2020
It's been a long time since I've written. There have been many changes in the real estate garden these last 4 years!!
First off the nightmare situation with the GIRLFRIEND I won, I got her out! BUT, it cost me $30,000 in total lawyer fees and lost rents. It became even more volatile and insane. the girl was a sociopath and started attacking all the other tenants, chaining their garbage cans to her car, setting up video cameras pointing at the other tenants windows and doors, blocking the driveway so no one can get out and go to work. On and ON. But rather than go into every detail and all the insanity I will tell you one thing that every landlord on earth needs to hear. I won the decision for her to vacate the premises. Yay, right?!?! The court declared she had 30 days and had to be out by midnight on that 30th day! It was declared by a judge AND written down by the clerk, midnight on the 30th day!!!
Well, that 30th day came, I drove to the property and stood outside, (I couldn't go on the property because she was suing me for harrassment, insanity) so I couldn't go on the property, if I did she could start another court case and this could go on for another 6 months in court!!!!! So I stood outside on the sidewalk, (public property).
I watch the clock, I was with some neighbors and tenants who are all by this time sick of the narcissistic, sociopath who attacked everyone on the block! We watched the time click by. 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, 11:30pm, she is scrambling, she is yelling at her friends who are helping her, she is angry that a cat got out, her car is packed, but there are boxes and crap all over the front of her unit. 11:46pm, the court declared, 12:00 midnight on this day. she has half the house empty and 14 minutes to get it all out and get the fuck off my property!!!
11:55pm, I see she ain't going to make it. I am so excited. See part of the courts agreement is if SHE doesn't get out by midnight, BY MIDNIGHT, she has to pay ALL the back rent, AND all my court costs including the lawyer costs!!! This is a $30,000 day, I am vindicated, I win, I showed her how powerful the law is and fucking with the laws is detrimental to those who feel they are above the laws!!! Feels good to be the king!
She finally moves out at 4am. that is clearly NOT midnight. I go back to court to make this clear and have a judgement against her for the $30,000. Smiles, vindication. We sit in the courtroom, our case comes up, we explain the situation and the agreement the judge declared, midnight and all that, we show the court report. the judge, a woman, looks at the papers, she reads it she looks at me and then at the ex-tenant who is looking with fear, the judge simple says, "She is cleared due to substantial compliance, case dismissed" Gavel bangs. I am stunned, my lawyer tries to speak, she barks at him, "CASE DISMISSED Counselor!" WTF!!!! is that her fucking daughter!!! The court made a judgment, midnight on the 30th day, the court didn't adhere to its own judgment!!!!!!!!
So the lesson here is that no one like landlords, no one has sympathy for the rich, capitalistic money gouging, heartless pricks that abuse and scam the poor helpless class. I am broke, just because I am a landlord doesn't mean I have fucking money!!! I ended up losing my ass on this entire deal, 11 months of insanity with this case, her insane antics towards me and the other tenants, on and on, losing $30,000 which not only I should not have had to spend, I should have been getting $2,000/mo all along. this event along with another event that started as soon as this woman moved out has made it very very clear, to get out of managing residential tenants anywhere near California.
Shortly after this, another tenant decided she wanted me to fix up a place better so she could make more with her airBnB! I said, no. She went to the rent board, the Oakland planning dept, and her lawyer. Tenants don't give a shit what horrors you just went through, dont care at all, just care about what you owe them. So the city came down on me for more violations, the houses were built in 1884, 1892, and 1920. there are going to be issues, they still had brick foundations! there are going to be issues, but not uninhabitable issues!! they were all living there without any issues for years. But now a pipe installed for their laundry bothers them!! etc, etc! No appreciation, no thanks. Just gimme, gimme, or else.
so they all got together and this one tenant convinced the rest to stop paying rent to force me to make her unit pristine, so 5 units stopped paying me rent!!!! She said we don't have to pay until you get these issues fixed. So, I put the place up for sale, AS IS. A buyer came in and bought the place. He remodeled the place, he moved into the place. He now has a different set of rent laws because he lives there. He got rid of them. BUT one of them came back and sued him for false eviction, AND of course, they dragged me into it a year AFTER I sold the fuckin place!!! so I go to court again for treating this other female bad. It was proven in all my correspondence with her, which I had to provide to my lawyers, that I was nothing but nice and respectful and even allowed rent to not be paid etc. BUT that is not how the court system works. The insurance was involved. Insurance does not want to know the truth, they do not want to get to the truth and win for the truth, they want the course of action that is the CHEAPEST!! remember that folks! The Cheapest route!!
So we go to a deposition, many actually. And we go to arbitration. The tenant was asking for $500,000 in personal damages! I sat basically doing nothing for about 8 hrs. Back and forth, back and forth, the arbitrator goes to our insurance lawyers, to the new owners insurance lawyers, and to her and her lawyers, back and forth. Long story short they decided to settle out of court, (which is the purpose of arbitration) and they agreed to give her, .... ready?? give her $100,000!!!!!! she was wrong, she was not hurt, she was evicted properly, BUT the lawyers know the time and money spent to go to trial and win, would cost more than $100,000, so this is CHEAPER. And so that's what they did. She was not abused and was not treated bad, and she got $100,000.
So to bring things up to date, I sold several places now in Oakland and Berkeley and did a 1031 exchange, (look it up if you don't know it, greatest wealth building tool on the planet) into what they call, Triple Net properties. Properties that you buy and rent to corporate companies such as, Wendy's. Subway, Shake Shack, Advanced Autoparts, burger king, little ceasers, Sherwin Williams Paints, Dollar General stores, Dollar Tree stores, etc. How it works is you buy the place, you take over the corporate guaranteed lease, and you have "0" landlord responsibilities. the Triple net means NNN, which translates to the big three being paid by the corporate tenant. Insurance, property taxes, and maintenance. You literally do nothing, but collect cash. It is the greatest investor set up. Never doing residential again, I have one more to sell then I am done forever.
ok, this was a quick spew. I will talk more about the murder in my place and another death in the matter of 5 months!!! next time!
First off the nightmare situation with the GIRLFRIEND I won, I got her out! BUT, it cost me $30,000 in total lawyer fees and lost rents. It became even more volatile and insane. the girl was a sociopath and started attacking all the other tenants, chaining their garbage cans to her car, setting up video cameras pointing at the other tenants windows and doors, blocking the driveway so no one can get out and go to work. On and ON. But rather than go into every detail and all the insanity I will tell you one thing that every landlord on earth needs to hear. I won the decision for her to vacate the premises. Yay, right?!?! The court declared she had 30 days and had to be out by midnight on that 30th day! It was declared by a judge AND written down by the clerk, midnight on the 30th day!!!
Well, that 30th day came, I drove to the property and stood outside, (I couldn't go on the property because she was suing me for harrassment, insanity) so I couldn't go on the property, if I did she could start another court case and this could go on for another 6 months in court!!!!! So I stood outside on the sidewalk, (public property).
I watch the clock, I was with some neighbors and tenants who are all by this time sick of the narcissistic, sociopath who attacked everyone on the block! We watched the time click by. 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, 11:30pm, she is scrambling, she is yelling at her friends who are helping her, she is angry that a cat got out, her car is packed, but there are boxes and crap all over the front of her unit. 11:46pm, the court declared, 12:00 midnight on this day. she has half the house empty and 14 minutes to get it all out and get the fuck off my property!!!
11:55pm, I see she ain't going to make it. I am so excited. See part of the courts agreement is if SHE doesn't get out by midnight, BY MIDNIGHT, she has to pay ALL the back rent, AND all my court costs including the lawyer costs!!! This is a $30,000 day, I am vindicated, I win, I showed her how powerful the law is and fucking with the laws is detrimental to those who feel they are above the laws!!! Feels good to be the king!
She finally moves out at 4am. that is clearly NOT midnight. I go back to court to make this clear and have a judgement against her for the $30,000. Smiles, vindication. We sit in the courtroom, our case comes up, we explain the situation and the agreement the judge declared, midnight and all that, we show the court report. the judge, a woman, looks at the papers, she reads it she looks at me and then at the ex-tenant who is looking with fear, the judge simple says, "She is cleared due to substantial compliance, case dismissed" Gavel bangs. I am stunned, my lawyer tries to speak, she barks at him, "CASE DISMISSED Counselor!" WTF!!!! is that her fucking daughter!!! The court made a judgment, midnight on the 30th day, the court didn't adhere to its own judgment!!!!!!!!
So the lesson here is that no one like landlords, no one has sympathy for the rich, capitalistic money gouging, heartless pricks that abuse and scam the poor helpless class. I am broke, just because I am a landlord doesn't mean I have fucking money!!! I ended up losing my ass on this entire deal, 11 months of insanity with this case, her insane antics towards me and the other tenants, on and on, losing $30,000 which not only I should not have had to spend, I should have been getting $2,000/mo all along. this event along with another event that started as soon as this woman moved out has made it very very clear, to get out of managing residential tenants anywhere near California.
Shortly after this, another tenant decided she wanted me to fix up a place better so she could make more with her airBnB! I said, no. She went to the rent board, the Oakland planning dept, and her lawyer. Tenants don't give a shit what horrors you just went through, dont care at all, just care about what you owe them. So the city came down on me for more violations, the houses were built in 1884, 1892, and 1920. there are going to be issues, they still had brick foundations! there are going to be issues, but not uninhabitable issues!! they were all living there without any issues for years. But now a pipe installed for their laundry bothers them!! etc, etc! No appreciation, no thanks. Just gimme, gimme, or else.
so they all got together and this one tenant convinced the rest to stop paying rent to force me to make her unit pristine, so 5 units stopped paying me rent!!!! She said we don't have to pay until you get these issues fixed. So, I put the place up for sale, AS IS. A buyer came in and bought the place. He remodeled the place, he moved into the place. He now has a different set of rent laws because he lives there. He got rid of them. BUT one of them came back and sued him for false eviction, AND of course, they dragged me into it a year AFTER I sold the fuckin place!!! so I go to court again for treating this other female bad. It was proven in all my correspondence with her, which I had to provide to my lawyers, that I was nothing but nice and respectful and even allowed rent to not be paid etc. BUT that is not how the court system works. The insurance was involved. Insurance does not want to know the truth, they do not want to get to the truth and win for the truth, they want the course of action that is the CHEAPEST!! remember that folks! The Cheapest route!!
So we go to a deposition, many actually. And we go to arbitration. The tenant was asking for $500,000 in personal damages! I sat basically doing nothing for about 8 hrs. Back and forth, back and forth, the arbitrator goes to our insurance lawyers, to the new owners insurance lawyers, and to her and her lawyers, back and forth. Long story short they decided to settle out of court, (which is the purpose of arbitration) and they agreed to give her, .... ready?? give her $100,000!!!!!! she was wrong, she was not hurt, she was evicted properly, BUT the lawyers know the time and money spent to go to trial and win, would cost more than $100,000, so this is CHEAPER. And so that's what they did. She was not abused and was not treated bad, and she got $100,000.
So to bring things up to date, I sold several places now in Oakland and Berkeley and did a 1031 exchange, (look it up if you don't know it, greatest wealth building tool on the planet) into what they call, Triple Net properties. Properties that you buy and rent to corporate companies such as, Wendy's. Subway, Shake Shack, Advanced Autoparts, burger king, little ceasers, Sherwin Williams Paints, Dollar General stores, Dollar Tree stores, etc. How it works is you buy the place, you take over the corporate guaranteed lease, and you have "0" landlord responsibilities. the Triple net means NNN, which translates to the big three being paid by the corporate tenant. Insurance, property taxes, and maintenance. You literally do nothing, but collect cash. It is the greatest investor set up. Never doing residential again, I have one more to sell then I am done forever.
ok, this was a quick spew. I will talk more about the murder in my place and another death in the matter of 5 months!!! next time!
Thursday, April 28, 2016
So, last post I said things were turning around and that the people in 720 were moving out. Well, it hasn't quite worked out that way. In fact it has done the complete opposite. It has turned into the worst tenant nightmare I was always fearing since the very first place I rented.
I will start from where the last post ended.
I had a tenant, we will call him dorkface. Dorkface lived there for 9 years. He moved in with his then girlfriend, Savana, and then they broke up and Savana moved on, I signed a new lease for the SAME PRICE with him. He lived there for 6 more years. in his 5th year I requested the first increase on that property in 9 years! I figure they would have appreciated the fact that I didn't raise the rent every year. But, remember, tenants don't appreciate a fuckin thing. Is that clear? Did you get that? They want the whole fuckin mile, and if you start to give a little and don't give the whole mile, then they are fuckin mad at you and you are an asshole, never mind that you actually did something nice for them, tenants don't see things that are done nice for them as something done nice for them, they see it as something they deserved and that you finally came around and gave them a piece of what they were owed! That's a little lesson for ya.
back to the fuckin nightmare!
So dorkface and I get into a thing about what the actually legal increase would be according to the dreaded rent board fuckers!! yeah rent control destroys neighborhoods, don't believe me look around.
I read the website and learned that I could "bank" increases. This is great news for me! I learned that I could use the rent board's banking calculator and go back to 10 years! So I punched in my numbers for the calculator and it spat out $250 increase wa allowed. So I told him about it and sent the calculator's results and said I was going to increase the rent to $200/mo. A nice gesture as I could ask for all $250. He sends an email back and says, "I'll think about whether I can accept this or not" I thought "WHAT?" it is not a negotiation, it is what the rent board allows and I can ask for it, there is no choice.
WELL, he goes to the rent board and it turns out, a month before, they changed the rules on the "banking". It was ruled too steep for the precious fucking protected class. So the new rule was that a landlord with banked increases can do 3 X the current year's CPI. Which is Consumer Index Price. that comes out to be 3x1.9% or as it turned out $80 more a month!!! So I had no choice I had to go with that, so we made a new lease and moved on. He paid the new increase, no problems. I was not happy as I had not given an increase in 9 years! I deserved to get more. So the lesson here future landlord's of America, make sure you get your increases every year, no matter what or who is in there.
So fast forward to Aug 2015. Which is where the last post was posted. Mr Dorkface gives his 30 days notice to vacate. I am overjoyed! I can now rent it for $2000 and make more money and still be a good deal for someone good and appreciative and respectful, yeah right, ha ha, I make myself laugh. Anyways, Dorkface is the only name on the lease. Now listen carefully here kids, the ONLY name on the lease. So we discuss the move-out date etc, he moves out like on the 4th day of the 30 days. He has two roommates and a, and here's where things start to go off kilter, GIRLFRIEND. My nightmare actually began when this piece of work started dating Dorkface, but it was unbeknownst to me. Hell was lurking right under my fuckin nose and I had no idea!
I went to the apartment to look at the place, it was deplorable, broken holes in the walls, they had lots of bikes so all the walls are dented and scuffed with black tire marks and handlebar gouges everywhere, the carpet is black, all my nice blinds are fucked up there is mildew all over the shower doors etc. I was not shocked because I have owned in Oakland for 20 years and I see this as typical of assfuck renters. So I only have $1000 deposit from them, I told him he is not getting it back.
He says ok.
Then the bane in my existence, Dorkface's now ex-girlfriend, comes to me and asks if she could re-lease the apartment. I think, hmmm, actually this would save me from having to do alot of work since she already lives in this squalor and she is part of the mess, I could just make a new lease with her at a higher amount and my job is done. so I told her, "well, that would be ok, but since the old lease has terminated the lease contract, I can sign a new lease with anyone I want at market rates.(turns out that is true everywhere 100% of the time with the exception of some sketchy subjective unclear situations in, you guessed it, OAKLAND), and if she can pay market rates then I will let her stay. There is a distinction that is very important but very subtle here. If she is a "new" tenant with a "new" lease then it would be my responsibility to make the place nice again using the last tenant's deposit. But I am not going in there with her and other's living in there and fixing all the damage. So I told her that if she wants to she can clean the place up a bit up to $1000, as that was the amount of the deposit. She said ok, I expected she would clean the carpet, and clean the bathroom and kitchen and maybe fix blinds and that would be all. I am very very busy with so many other issues that I just let her do her thing. Well, my first mistake in all this was not to write down exactly the things I understand the word "clean" means. the word "clean" means different things to different people. So, we sign a new lease at a discount rate of $1850 instead of $2000 because of the situation. THAT is a GOOD deal! She spends a little time doing cleanup for a reduced rent for the entire year! But as I learn this is not seen as a nice gesture by her. I should have read my earlier declaration that tenants do not see anything as a nice gesture. I also did not ask for a deposit, I said I would credit her the deposit from Dorkface.
So I tell her, and please listen because it seems people aren't very clear on this type of stuff, take pictures or a movie of all the damage in the place, this way when she moves out she can show the pictures as the basis of the condition at the time of her move-in. Then if it is the same or better, she would get the deposit. Is that clear? This means she is guaranteed to get her deposit unless she just goes total entitled rockstar on the place. But she doesn't do that, even though I tried to explain it several times and asked for photos. Everyone has a cell phone, it would literally take seconds to take and send. She doesn't do it. She goes along doing stuff in the apartment, I don't know what, then she asks if I have paint. I was like, ok but that is your own thing. She just said thanks and went about her business. She had rented to new girls and had them painting their rooms and other things.
So the month goes by and she doesn't pay rent. I send her an email saying where is the rent. She says ok she will send it. She sends $1850. I think great things are going to be good. HA!
The next month, again no rent. She instead tells me she is going to send me the pictures now. Now? I explained again, you needed to send the pictures that first few days of how the apartment looked so you could have documentation as to how bad it was. She says no, I have it all fixed now and I am going to send it so you can see what shape it's in now. (that totally defeats the whole purpose of capturing the move-in condition) She didn't understand what the fuck I meant! She then sends me a list of pictures, a huge list of pictures of mostly things fixed up, but she also sends things like a bit of caulking missing in the counter, or a piece of gum on a random wall, or the dirt in the sill. And then I get an itemized list of all the things she fixed and described them and noted a dollar value on it. Like a piece of gum had to be removed from the wall above the third bedrooms far wall $7. a nail had to be removed from the molding above the 2nd bedrooms door $2, and on and on. She doesn't have any experience with fixing a place up, all that stuff is part of the "paint job" It does not need to be itemized. She also complained about the appliances, I ended up buying a fridge, stove and stack washer/dryer to replace the old ones as she said they didn't work, but they all worked a month ago when Dorkface was in there! So then along with the itemized list she sends me a bill for $3600.
I said, woah, this is not what we talked about, I said to clean it up within the $1000 and to take pictures of the damaged walls etc. AND you haven't paid rent! She wrote back explaining that it was my responsibility to fix up the apartment into a habitable state and that is what she did for me, I said WHAT? Habitable state!?!?! You were already living there for years in that STATE!!! It was already habitable, you guys broke it all up and trashed it, you needed to fix it up as the responsible tenants. She said, "I didn't do it, I am not like that. you don't know me!" I said it doesn't matter who did it or not, you all were living there, therefore it's EVERYONE'S responsibility equally. I told her it was Dorkface's job to fix it, go get the money from him.
Well, this is where the total tenant from hell was birthed. I don't hear from her, then one day I get an email, it has a list of violations I have done, such as my illegally raising the rent the year before, raising the rent again on her in September, and illegally raising the rent two times within a 12 month period. And that I had failed to provide her with a Rent Adjustment Program sheet back in August of 2014!!!!!! And because of this she was going to credit this year's rent using the increased rent from the previous year, as it was illegal.
I said, "you were not a tenant, you were not on the lease, I do not have to provide you with anything at all, only my tenant, Dorkface!"
I get another email siting sections and articles and laws from the rent board that due to the fact that she lived there and I had spoken to her in a tenant like manner, that made her a tenant and therefore the $1850 increase was illegal AND the $80 increase a year ago to my tenant was also illegal.
I was fucking shocked and pissed that someone would try and do this shit. Shocked. Who does this? So now I know I am in a bit of a bullshit tenant situation. so I called a lawyer. The first lawyer says, "well, it could be true that you treated her like a tenant, and though it might not be construed as treating her like a tenant, we would have to make a case and go to trial to prove she was not a tenant.
TRIAL!?!?! Why the fuck do I have to go to trial, isn't there a clear distinction as to whether she is a tenant or she is NOT a tenant. He says no it is a grey area and it would really depend on which judge was on the bench the day of judgement. WTF!?!?!?!
So I call another lawyer, and another and another, and now $1500 later they all say pretty much the same thing. WTF?!!? what kind of system is this shit??? So I settle on a lawyer Steve. he seemed knowledgeable and clear on the laws and sympathetic to my situation. So we start talking scenerios he says it could cost me $20,000 to prove she is not a tenant in trial, and we could lose, and I would have to pay all her court costs. WTF?!?!? So tenants really do get to control landlord's, they may be wrong but it will cost a fortune to prove you're right!!!
So scenario 1 is eliminated, I am not going to go to court to prove she was not a tenant, too costly. We do alot of researching and come up with some other plans. Which means I cannot use the $1850 lease that she SIGNED!!! So in this case this agreement is literally not worth the paper it IS written and SIGNED on!! Unbelievable! Well it might be but it will cost me $20,000 to prove it.
Scenario 2, this would be to accept the original rent of $1400 and assume the lease of dorkface BEFORE the increase. I even credited her last years increase, which technically should go to Dorkface as he was the tenant not her, she is stealing from him. But whatever, the plan is to get her out, so it doesn't matter what or how. She happens to be bad at math, so even crediting her the $3600 work, the $1700 from last year's increase and the $1850 she did pay, she is still short on her rent. But this is just not right, if I serve a 3-days notice it would only be a small amount to pay back and she might just pay it and then I am stuck with the old old lease amount and I lose all the money I rightfully deserve.
So I read up on the rent control rules and I see that it says something to the effect, "... the disputing tenant is responsible to pay the new increased rent UNTIL they get their R.A.P. sheet and can contest it in the following 60 days ..." So what it means is she has to pay the increase until she gets the RAP sheet and THEN she has 60 days to contest its legality. Well, I was within the legal amount 3x1.9% so it won't be illegal. so scenerio 3, is to evict her on non-payment of rent based on the $1480 rent. Which is more money and will be harder for her to pay.
All the leases do not allow pets and she has cats!!! See she wants the landlord to follow the rules to the T, but they don't apply to her.
So we go with scenario 3 and throw in the cat situation.
We serve her the 3-day notice and the cat thing. She replies on the 4th day that she is not going to pay because the amount owed is wrong, and therefore invalid. She is not going to remove the cats because I knew about the cats all along, (I did not know). So then we discuss a plan and we file an Unlawful Detainer to gain back the property. She fires back and called the City inspector and has claimed unsafe and uninhabitable conditions.
1) no permit for a water heater that blew a year before and she stood there and watched the water go all over and refused to turn the water off because it "was not her job" I had to drop everything and drive an hour up to turn off the fuckin water!! I replaced the water heater that day and all was fine. So she told the inspector I didn't get a permit.
2) a dryer vent came undone under the house, and was hanging, that is another code violation. It would take all of 5 minutes to put it back and tape it.
3) IVY growing up the side of the house, this is a code violation, who would ever think that was an issue? yet a code violation??? I see ivy on houses all over the place, even at Harvard's buildings, it's part of the decor. WTF and how is it bothering her?!?!
4)some dry rot on the rails of the stairs and deck. This too is a code violation, even though every house on earth has some dry rot. Just go look around. So this is the biggest problem, because apparently this is considered structural, and therefore it needs plans!! Plans are expensive, deck plans and site plans and property plans, all need to be done!!!!!!!!
so so very displeased with all this. So I had to get another tenant to act as my representative at the building dept and to do this I have to fill out a form and get it notarized!! So I do all that and send her over there. I have to get permits! I have to get three permits, one for the water heater, one for the dryer vent hanging down?!?!? and one for a replacement permit for the stairs and rails on the decking!
Costs $700!!! When there is no work to be done. Water heater is done! the dryer vent will take 5 minutes, and the deck is 1/2 a day of replacing rails and treads. $700 for no reason.
Unfuckinbelievable!
So the lawyer sent a bill (retainer) for $3000, and to continue the retainer needs to be up another $3000, so I have to send another check for $3000!! Then he wanted me to get landlord's insurance and Unlawful Detainer protection, that was $5000. So right there alone I have spent $11,000 and $1500 on the other lawyers AND $700 for permits, AND I am out $5600 in rent, that is a total of $18,800 and she is still in there not paying rent and we haven't even gone to trial yet!!!!!!!
Tell me how the laws are helping fuckin landlord's!!!??? I am not rich, I owe $800,000 on the property and I made $2000 total all year last year!! now I am $18,800 into this year and I can't afford to spend all this. But she is wrong, she needs to fuckin go! it is not right that a tenant can use the system to fuck landlords so easily and there are no repercussions to the tenants. I think tenants who steal money should go to jail. She should go to jail after not paying rent for $15 years!!! Same as if she had stolen $18,000 from a store or embezzling, how is this not criminal??? how??? She is stealing money from my kids food and school and activities, she is stealing money I desperately need for my daughter who is starting college at an out of state University, CH-CHING!! it is not ok that a tenant can't pay or won't pay and fucks a landlord and forces the daughter to NOT be able to go to the University and changes the course of her life forever!!!!! How is this ok?????
The systems is so fuckin rigged, there has to be a change, there has to be power but back in the hands of the owners. I wish the owners could boycott somehow.
Anyways, I am so devastated by this it is horrifying that I am losing so much money to get someone out that knows she is wrong, my lawyer knows she is wrong, her lawyer knows she is wrong, and the judge will know she is wrong, and yet I have to spend a fortune to get a judgement to get my property back.
I am ready to stop being a landlord and sell everything. The properties have all come back to a good value, I could make over $2 million and walk away from all the properties.
such a sad state of justice
so the lessons are:
1) do not let anyone live there that is not on the lease. If someone moves in right away make the main tenant write a sublease with your approval of the new sublessee!! Then NEVEr ever talk to the sublessee! ever. they can then never claim to be a tenant.
2) Make sure all the tenants understand the rules.
3) as costly as it may be, always force the tenants to follow the lease rules, no pets means no pets!!!
4) most important use a management service on all properties, this wouldn't have happened if I had management.
5) my suggestion would be to become a lawyer .....
I will start from where the last post ended.
I had a tenant, we will call him dorkface. Dorkface lived there for 9 years. He moved in with his then girlfriend, Savana, and then they broke up and Savana moved on, I signed a new lease for the SAME PRICE with him. He lived there for 6 more years. in his 5th year I requested the first increase on that property in 9 years! I figure they would have appreciated the fact that I didn't raise the rent every year. But, remember, tenants don't appreciate a fuckin thing. Is that clear? Did you get that? They want the whole fuckin mile, and if you start to give a little and don't give the whole mile, then they are fuckin mad at you and you are an asshole, never mind that you actually did something nice for them, tenants don't see things that are done nice for them as something done nice for them, they see it as something they deserved and that you finally came around and gave them a piece of what they were owed! That's a little lesson for ya.
back to the fuckin nightmare!
So dorkface and I get into a thing about what the actually legal increase would be according to the dreaded rent board fuckers!! yeah rent control destroys neighborhoods, don't believe me look around.
I read the website and learned that I could "bank" increases. This is great news for me! I learned that I could use the rent board's banking calculator and go back to 10 years! So I punched in my numbers for the calculator and it spat out $250 increase wa allowed. So I told him about it and sent the calculator's results and said I was going to increase the rent to $200/mo. A nice gesture as I could ask for all $250. He sends an email back and says, "I'll think about whether I can accept this or not" I thought "WHAT?" it is not a negotiation, it is what the rent board allows and I can ask for it, there is no choice.
WELL, he goes to the rent board and it turns out, a month before, they changed the rules on the "banking". It was ruled too steep for the precious fucking protected class. So the new rule was that a landlord with banked increases can do 3 X the current year's CPI. Which is Consumer Index Price. that comes out to be 3x1.9% or as it turned out $80 more a month!!! So I had no choice I had to go with that, so we made a new lease and moved on. He paid the new increase, no problems. I was not happy as I had not given an increase in 9 years! I deserved to get more. So the lesson here future landlord's of America, make sure you get your increases every year, no matter what or who is in there.
So fast forward to Aug 2015. Which is where the last post was posted. Mr Dorkface gives his 30 days notice to vacate. I am overjoyed! I can now rent it for $2000 and make more money and still be a good deal for someone good and appreciative and respectful, yeah right, ha ha, I make myself laugh. Anyways, Dorkface is the only name on the lease. Now listen carefully here kids, the ONLY name on the lease. So we discuss the move-out date etc, he moves out like on the 4th day of the 30 days. He has two roommates and a, and here's where things start to go off kilter, GIRLFRIEND. My nightmare actually began when this piece of work started dating Dorkface, but it was unbeknownst to me. Hell was lurking right under my fuckin nose and I had no idea!
I went to the apartment to look at the place, it was deplorable, broken holes in the walls, they had lots of bikes so all the walls are dented and scuffed with black tire marks and handlebar gouges everywhere, the carpet is black, all my nice blinds are fucked up there is mildew all over the shower doors etc. I was not shocked because I have owned in Oakland for 20 years and I see this as typical of assfuck renters. So I only have $1000 deposit from them, I told him he is not getting it back.
He says ok.
Then the bane in my existence, Dorkface's now ex-girlfriend, comes to me and asks if she could re-lease the apartment. I think, hmmm, actually this would save me from having to do alot of work since she already lives in this squalor and she is part of the mess, I could just make a new lease with her at a higher amount and my job is done. so I told her, "well, that would be ok, but since the old lease has terminated the lease contract, I can sign a new lease with anyone I want at market rates.(turns out that is true everywhere 100% of the time with the exception of some sketchy subjective unclear situations in, you guessed it, OAKLAND), and if she can pay market rates then I will let her stay. There is a distinction that is very important but very subtle here. If she is a "new" tenant with a "new" lease then it would be my responsibility to make the place nice again using the last tenant's deposit. But I am not going in there with her and other's living in there and fixing all the damage. So I told her that if she wants to she can clean the place up a bit up to $1000, as that was the amount of the deposit. She said ok, I expected she would clean the carpet, and clean the bathroom and kitchen and maybe fix blinds and that would be all. I am very very busy with so many other issues that I just let her do her thing. Well, my first mistake in all this was not to write down exactly the things I understand the word "clean" means. the word "clean" means different things to different people. So, we sign a new lease at a discount rate of $1850 instead of $2000 because of the situation. THAT is a GOOD deal! She spends a little time doing cleanup for a reduced rent for the entire year! But as I learn this is not seen as a nice gesture by her. I should have read my earlier declaration that tenants do not see anything as a nice gesture. I also did not ask for a deposit, I said I would credit her the deposit from Dorkface.
So I tell her, and please listen because it seems people aren't very clear on this type of stuff, take pictures or a movie of all the damage in the place, this way when she moves out she can show the pictures as the basis of the condition at the time of her move-in. Then if it is the same or better, she would get the deposit. Is that clear? This means she is guaranteed to get her deposit unless she just goes total entitled rockstar on the place. But she doesn't do that, even though I tried to explain it several times and asked for photos. Everyone has a cell phone, it would literally take seconds to take and send. She doesn't do it. She goes along doing stuff in the apartment, I don't know what, then she asks if I have paint. I was like, ok but that is your own thing. She just said thanks and went about her business. She had rented to new girls and had them painting their rooms and other things.
So the month goes by and she doesn't pay rent. I send her an email saying where is the rent. She says ok she will send it. She sends $1850. I think great things are going to be good. HA!
The next month, again no rent. She instead tells me she is going to send me the pictures now. Now? I explained again, you needed to send the pictures that first few days of how the apartment looked so you could have documentation as to how bad it was. She says no, I have it all fixed now and I am going to send it so you can see what shape it's in now. (that totally defeats the whole purpose of capturing the move-in condition) She didn't understand what the fuck I meant! She then sends me a list of pictures, a huge list of pictures of mostly things fixed up, but she also sends things like a bit of caulking missing in the counter, or a piece of gum on a random wall, or the dirt in the sill. And then I get an itemized list of all the things she fixed and described them and noted a dollar value on it. Like a piece of gum had to be removed from the wall above the third bedrooms far wall $7. a nail had to be removed from the molding above the 2nd bedrooms door $2, and on and on. She doesn't have any experience with fixing a place up, all that stuff is part of the "paint job" It does not need to be itemized. She also complained about the appliances, I ended up buying a fridge, stove and stack washer/dryer to replace the old ones as she said they didn't work, but they all worked a month ago when Dorkface was in there! So then along with the itemized list she sends me a bill for $3600.
I said, woah, this is not what we talked about, I said to clean it up within the $1000 and to take pictures of the damaged walls etc. AND you haven't paid rent! She wrote back explaining that it was my responsibility to fix up the apartment into a habitable state and that is what she did for me, I said WHAT? Habitable state!?!?! You were already living there for years in that STATE!!! It was already habitable, you guys broke it all up and trashed it, you needed to fix it up as the responsible tenants. She said, "I didn't do it, I am not like that. you don't know me!" I said it doesn't matter who did it or not, you all were living there, therefore it's EVERYONE'S responsibility equally. I told her it was Dorkface's job to fix it, go get the money from him.
Well, this is where the total tenant from hell was birthed. I don't hear from her, then one day I get an email, it has a list of violations I have done, such as my illegally raising the rent the year before, raising the rent again on her in September, and illegally raising the rent two times within a 12 month period. And that I had failed to provide her with a Rent Adjustment Program sheet back in August of 2014!!!!!! And because of this she was going to credit this year's rent using the increased rent from the previous year, as it was illegal.
I said, "you were not a tenant, you were not on the lease, I do not have to provide you with anything at all, only my tenant, Dorkface!"
I get another email siting sections and articles and laws from the rent board that due to the fact that she lived there and I had spoken to her in a tenant like manner, that made her a tenant and therefore the $1850 increase was illegal AND the $80 increase a year ago to my tenant was also illegal.
I was fucking shocked and pissed that someone would try and do this shit. Shocked. Who does this? So now I know I am in a bit of a bullshit tenant situation. so I called a lawyer. The first lawyer says, "well, it could be true that you treated her like a tenant, and though it might not be construed as treating her like a tenant, we would have to make a case and go to trial to prove she was not a tenant.
TRIAL!?!?! Why the fuck do I have to go to trial, isn't there a clear distinction as to whether she is a tenant or she is NOT a tenant. He says no it is a grey area and it would really depend on which judge was on the bench the day of judgement. WTF!?!?!?!
So I call another lawyer, and another and another, and now $1500 later they all say pretty much the same thing. WTF?!!? what kind of system is this shit??? So I settle on a lawyer Steve. he seemed knowledgeable and clear on the laws and sympathetic to my situation. So we start talking scenerios he says it could cost me $20,000 to prove she is not a tenant in trial, and we could lose, and I would have to pay all her court costs. WTF?!?!? So tenants really do get to control landlord's, they may be wrong but it will cost a fortune to prove you're right!!!
So scenario 1 is eliminated, I am not going to go to court to prove she was not a tenant, too costly. We do alot of researching and come up with some other plans. Which means I cannot use the $1850 lease that she SIGNED!!! So in this case this agreement is literally not worth the paper it IS written and SIGNED on!! Unbelievable! Well it might be but it will cost me $20,000 to prove it.
Scenario 2, this would be to accept the original rent of $1400 and assume the lease of dorkface BEFORE the increase. I even credited her last years increase, which technically should go to Dorkface as he was the tenant not her, she is stealing from him. But whatever, the plan is to get her out, so it doesn't matter what or how. She happens to be bad at math, so even crediting her the $3600 work, the $1700 from last year's increase and the $1850 she did pay, she is still short on her rent. But this is just not right, if I serve a 3-days notice it would only be a small amount to pay back and she might just pay it and then I am stuck with the old old lease amount and I lose all the money I rightfully deserve.
So I read up on the rent control rules and I see that it says something to the effect, "... the disputing tenant is responsible to pay the new increased rent UNTIL they get their R.A.P. sheet and can contest it in the following 60 days ..." So what it means is she has to pay the increase until she gets the RAP sheet and THEN she has 60 days to contest its legality. Well, I was within the legal amount 3x1.9% so it won't be illegal. so scenerio 3, is to evict her on non-payment of rent based on the $1480 rent. Which is more money and will be harder for her to pay.
All the leases do not allow pets and she has cats!!! See she wants the landlord to follow the rules to the T, but they don't apply to her.
So we go with scenario 3 and throw in the cat situation.
We serve her the 3-day notice and the cat thing. She replies on the 4th day that she is not going to pay because the amount owed is wrong, and therefore invalid. She is not going to remove the cats because I knew about the cats all along, (I did not know). So then we discuss a plan and we file an Unlawful Detainer to gain back the property. She fires back and called the City inspector and has claimed unsafe and uninhabitable conditions.
1) no permit for a water heater that blew a year before and she stood there and watched the water go all over and refused to turn the water off because it "was not her job" I had to drop everything and drive an hour up to turn off the fuckin water!! I replaced the water heater that day and all was fine. So she told the inspector I didn't get a permit.
2) a dryer vent came undone under the house, and was hanging, that is another code violation. It would take all of 5 minutes to put it back and tape it.
3) IVY growing up the side of the house, this is a code violation, who would ever think that was an issue? yet a code violation??? I see ivy on houses all over the place, even at Harvard's buildings, it's part of the decor. WTF and how is it bothering her?!?!
4)some dry rot on the rails of the stairs and deck. This too is a code violation, even though every house on earth has some dry rot. Just go look around. So this is the biggest problem, because apparently this is considered structural, and therefore it needs plans!! Plans are expensive, deck plans and site plans and property plans, all need to be done!!!!!!!!
so so very displeased with all this. So I had to get another tenant to act as my representative at the building dept and to do this I have to fill out a form and get it notarized!! So I do all that and send her over there. I have to get permits! I have to get three permits, one for the water heater, one for the dryer vent hanging down?!?!? and one for a replacement permit for the stairs and rails on the decking!
Costs $700!!! When there is no work to be done. Water heater is done! the dryer vent will take 5 minutes, and the deck is 1/2 a day of replacing rails and treads. $700 for no reason.
Unfuckinbelievable!
So the lawyer sent a bill (retainer) for $3000, and to continue the retainer needs to be up another $3000, so I have to send another check for $3000!! Then he wanted me to get landlord's insurance and Unlawful Detainer protection, that was $5000. So right there alone I have spent $11,000 and $1500 on the other lawyers AND $700 for permits, AND I am out $5600 in rent, that is a total of $18,800 and she is still in there not paying rent and we haven't even gone to trial yet!!!!!!!
Tell me how the laws are helping fuckin landlord's!!!??? I am not rich, I owe $800,000 on the property and I made $2000 total all year last year!! now I am $18,800 into this year and I can't afford to spend all this. But she is wrong, she needs to fuckin go! it is not right that a tenant can use the system to fuck landlords so easily and there are no repercussions to the tenants. I think tenants who steal money should go to jail. She should go to jail after not paying rent for $15 years!!! Same as if she had stolen $18,000 from a store or embezzling, how is this not criminal??? how??? She is stealing money from my kids food and school and activities, she is stealing money I desperately need for my daughter who is starting college at an out of state University, CH-CHING!! it is not ok that a tenant can't pay or won't pay and fucks a landlord and forces the daughter to NOT be able to go to the University and changes the course of her life forever!!!!! How is this ok?????
The systems is so fuckin rigged, there has to be a change, there has to be power but back in the hands of the owners. I wish the owners could boycott somehow.
Anyways, I am so devastated by this it is horrifying that I am losing so much money to get someone out that knows she is wrong, my lawyer knows she is wrong, her lawyer knows she is wrong, and the judge will know she is wrong, and yet I have to spend a fortune to get a judgement to get my property back.
I am ready to stop being a landlord and sell everything. The properties have all come back to a good value, I could make over $2 million and walk away from all the properties.
such a sad state of justice
so the lessons are:
1) do not let anyone live there that is not on the lease. If someone moves in right away make the main tenant write a sublease with your approval of the new sublessee!! Then NEVEr ever talk to the sublessee! ever. they can then never claim to be a tenant.
2) Make sure all the tenants understand the rules.
3) as costly as it may be, always force the tenants to follow the lease rules, no pets means no pets!!!
4) most important use a management service on all properties, this wouldn't have happened if I had management.
5) my suggestion would be to become a lawyer .....
Friday, August 21, 2015
It has been some time here again. Let's see, I still hate being a landlord. The economy has grown nicely for the properties. I am working alot at Stanford.
Issues: I have several people moving out. Upstairs 720 are finally moving! I am in the middle of a rental price explosion. I have many 3 bedrooms that were barely getting $1400 on the open market, and $1236 with Section-8, but now 3 beds are as high as $2500! So when a person moves out I can ask for the market rent. So if two or three move out I will be getting huge increases. Possibly as much as $1000 in the next month. So that's the good news.
The apartment they are leaving is destroyed. They have damaged walls, floors, carpet, bathroom water damage, cabs, etc. really sucks. So it will cost me some money to get that all back together.
the section-8 downstairs is trying to move. She needs to go, section-8 pays $1236/mo when I could easily get $1850 for that unit. She gave 30 days notice, but she has done this 4 times in the last 3 years, and still doesn't move.
The front unit is renewing their lease, I am asking for an increase.
I have a section-8 tenant that constantly tries to con me. Tries to lie to me about so many things, tries to manipulate me as to why all is my fault or my responsibility. He never pays the right amount of his rent portion. He breaks the property up all the time then section-8 abates my rent til I fix it, and the tenant just says, "it's on you". So in march I stopped fixing shit and the contract terminated. I fully expected him to move as I told him 2 months before that I was going to let it expire. But he actually paid for 2 1/2 months. But then he didn't pay and tries to tell me that I didn't fix things in time so he doesn't have to pay, that it was my fault that I am not getting the rent. he says I didn't fix a light, but I told him he could fix it at anytime. the light got fixed in May. but a light cannot be a cause to withhold rent, I have been to court on other occasions about the same type of thing. He also has told me that if I re-sign a contract with section-8 for him he will move. He said in Feb that he has a place to move to but it will take 2 months so he needs to be on section-8 until he moves. Well I went through and did all the paperwork etc to get it back, but section-8 is a bunch of fuckin assholes, and they took forever to respond and help. they don't care about the tenants at all, they have no protection for tenants at all. If I decide to end a contract, where does that leave the tenant? he can't do anything, he has no assistance from section-8, what happens is he gets evicted and loses his voucher for life! At no cause of his own. So anyways, he lies to me and says that he has a place to go, so after two months of this bullshit I say, why aren't you doing this paperwork with the other guy??? It is the exact same timeline. He tells me the guy needs more time. It's all bullshit, all manipulation to try and get back in and stay forever. So I did fill out the paperwork and told them I wanted $1600/mo because the market is so high now and $1200 ain't gonna cut it. So they came back and said $1500/mo. OK. But then i was in Mexico and nothing got done, no inspection nothing. So it's been 3 months now without rent. So now I can evict him. he is just so irresponsible I can't believe it, he is so busy trying to prove how everything is my fault that he is not taking responsibility for himself and his many kids, (they live with their mothers). So I need to call and get all this going, maybe I need to evict. this is the kind of shit that happens and I can't stand it.
What else? I want to exchange MLK house into a place for myself, either in Mountain View or East palo Alto or maybe a 4/5/6/7 unit in Oakland to increase monthly income. BUT before I do any of that I need to separate from the ex financially. If I go and get a new place and throw a bunch of money in it, She will try and come after that because she thinks it's part of her money. I don't need that bullshit. So I need to separate and then move on and make the necessary real estate moves I need to make.
Another move I want to make is to take advantage of HARP for a 4 unit I have. But HARP only refinances loans $625k and less. My loan is $763,000. So I would need to put in $140,000 in to get it to qualify for HARP. But this would drop my monthly payment down possibly $2500/mo. this would increase my yearly cashflow by nearly $30,000/yr. Even if I buy a house for $200k and rent it, I would only make maybe $18,000/yr. Same if I pay down a house I have to $0, it would only gain me about $8,000/yr. Even if I paid off the Mountain House I would still only make $15,000/yr. So the refinance is the best option. yes it's possible if I buy a new place it may grow equity which could make more money in the long run, but it could also collapse like it did in 2008, which would leave me with nothing. Equity is on paper and that's it. But I can't make any moves with Her in the picture.
I could just go off and start flipping houses. using money I've earned from Stanford. I got the job AFTER we were Separated, which means all of it is mine and she has no claim to it at all.
Divorce is a FINANCIAL decision, NOT just an emotional one. When she asked for a divorce she really didn't think it through. Her life is not any better, and now she struggles more as I don't pay for her car, or the kids cars, or the gas, or the electric, water, prop taxes, upkeep, nothing. But I do take care of the mortgage, which I am told by lawyers that I don't have to. But they are my kids and I want them to be good. But she is shocked that I don't take care of her more, what the hell did she think was going to happen? My youngest is 11, 6th grade. When he Graduates High School in 7 years, I will stop paying for anything anymore. Maybe sooner.
anyway, life is crazy, do stuff you love as much as possible.
I love basketball, this is still one of my greatest joys. I love going to the gym and playing great ball, making drives, making jumpers, breaking ankles of guys 20 years younger than me. I still have a 30" vertical at 52. My highest was 42" when I was on the track team in college. High jump, long jump, triple jump, and decathlon were my things. I am at 209 now, which is 44 lbs more than when I played at my best. So need to lose 40 lbs to be the high wire act on the court again.
So I need to play more basketball and keep trying to minimize injuries. When you get older injuries are a part of the game.
it's all good, better than being locked up in solitary confinement for 27 years like Nelson Mandela!
Issues: I have several people moving out. Upstairs 720 are finally moving! I am in the middle of a rental price explosion. I have many 3 bedrooms that were barely getting $1400 on the open market, and $1236 with Section-8, but now 3 beds are as high as $2500! So when a person moves out I can ask for the market rent. So if two or three move out I will be getting huge increases. Possibly as much as $1000 in the next month. So that's the good news.
The apartment they are leaving is destroyed. They have damaged walls, floors, carpet, bathroom water damage, cabs, etc. really sucks. So it will cost me some money to get that all back together.
the section-8 downstairs is trying to move. She needs to go, section-8 pays $1236/mo when I could easily get $1850 for that unit. She gave 30 days notice, but she has done this 4 times in the last 3 years, and still doesn't move.
The front unit is renewing their lease, I am asking for an increase.
I have a section-8 tenant that constantly tries to con me. Tries to lie to me about so many things, tries to manipulate me as to why all is my fault or my responsibility. He never pays the right amount of his rent portion. He breaks the property up all the time then section-8 abates my rent til I fix it, and the tenant just says, "it's on you". So in march I stopped fixing shit and the contract terminated. I fully expected him to move as I told him 2 months before that I was going to let it expire. But he actually paid for 2 1/2 months. But then he didn't pay and tries to tell me that I didn't fix things in time so he doesn't have to pay, that it was my fault that I am not getting the rent. he says I didn't fix a light, but I told him he could fix it at anytime. the light got fixed in May. but a light cannot be a cause to withhold rent, I have been to court on other occasions about the same type of thing. He also has told me that if I re-sign a contract with section-8 for him he will move. He said in Feb that he has a place to move to but it will take 2 months so he needs to be on section-8 until he moves. Well I went through and did all the paperwork etc to get it back, but section-8 is a bunch of fuckin assholes, and they took forever to respond and help. they don't care about the tenants at all, they have no protection for tenants at all. If I decide to end a contract, where does that leave the tenant? he can't do anything, he has no assistance from section-8, what happens is he gets evicted and loses his voucher for life! At no cause of his own. So anyways, he lies to me and says that he has a place to go, so after two months of this bullshit I say, why aren't you doing this paperwork with the other guy??? It is the exact same timeline. He tells me the guy needs more time. It's all bullshit, all manipulation to try and get back in and stay forever. So I did fill out the paperwork and told them I wanted $1600/mo because the market is so high now and $1200 ain't gonna cut it. So they came back and said $1500/mo. OK. But then i was in Mexico and nothing got done, no inspection nothing. So it's been 3 months now without rent. So now I can evict him. he is just so irresponsible I can't believe it, he is so busy trying to prove how everything is my fault that he is not taking responsibility for himself and his many kids, (they live with their mothers). So I need to call and get all this going, maybe I need to evict. this is the kind of shit that happens and I can't stand it.
What else? I want to exchange MLK house into a place for myself, either in Mountain View or East palo Alto or maybe a 4/5/6/7 unit in Oakland to increase monthly income. BUT before I do any of that I need to separate from the ex financially. If I go and get a new place and throw a bunch of money in it, She will try and come after that because she thinks it's part of her money. I don't need that bullshit. So I need to separate and then move on and make the necessary real estate moves I need to make.
Another move I want to make is to take advantage of HARP for a 4 unit I have. But HARP only refinances loans $625k and less. My loan is $763,000. So I would need to put in $140,000 in to get it to qualify for HARP. But this would drop my monthly payment down possibly $2500/mo. this would increase my yearly cashflow by nearly $30,000/yr. Even if I buy a house for $200k and rent it, I would only make maybe $18,000/yr. Same if I pay down a house I have to $0, it would only gain me about $8,000/yr. Even if I paid off the Mountain House I would still only make $15,000/yr. So the refinance is the best option. yes it's possible if I buy a new place it may grow equity which could make more money in the long run, but it could also collapse like it did in 2008, which would leave me with nothing. Equity is on paper and that's it. But I can't make any moves with Her in the picture.
I could just go off and start flipping houses. using money I've earned from Stanford. I got the job AFTER we were Separated, which means all of it is mine and she has no claim to it at all.
Divorce is a FINANCIAL decision, NOT just an emotional one. When she asked for a divorce she really didn't think it through. Her life is not any better, and now she struggles more as I don't pay for her car, or the kids cars, or the gas, or the electric, water, prop taxes, upkeep, nothing. But I do take care of the mortgage, which I am told by lawyers that I don't have to. But they are my kids and I want them to be good. But she is shocked that I don't take care of her more, what the hell did she think was going to happen? My youngest is 11, 6th grade. When he Graduates High School in 7 years, I will stop paying for anything anymore. Maybe sooner.
anyway, life is crazy, do stuff you love as much as possible.
I love basketball, this is still one of my greatest joys. I love going to the gym and playing great ball, making drives, making jumpers, breaking ankles of guys 20 years younger than me. I still have a 30" vertical at 52. My highest was 42" when I was on the track team in college. High jump, long jump, triple jump, and decathlon were my things. I am at 209 now, which is 44 lbs more than when I played at my best. So need to lose 40 lbs to be the high wire act on the court again.
So I need to play more basketball and keep trying to minimize injuries. When you get older injuries are a part of the game.
it's all good, better than being locked up in solitary confinement for 27 years like Nelson Mandela!
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
It's been a year.
Wow, I can't believe it's been a year since the last post. So let's see what has happened. Two major things that have happened is that I sold both Prince and Grand ave, the one where the partner didn't pay the fuckin prop taxes. owed $119,000. So we got an offer for around $1.2 million for the property and the taxes were covered and I got some money back, so over all I broke even, except that I have to pay taxes on money I used to keep the property alive 5 years ago, and now I get that money back except that I have to pay capitol gains on it. Money I already had. But the great thing is that person is out of my life, the stress I had dealing with them and my name being on the loan was too much. So I am thankful that is over.
Prince was a mess, I had to fix up so much, and then I got an offer for $795,000 but they subtracted money for the wall work the pest report claimed that all the wood under the stucco on the outside wall needed to be replaced. I disagree. but I was losing $20,000/yr on that property so I had to get rid of it, lightning struck and it slingshot out from underwater and went to nearly $800,000. So I pulled the trigger and sold it. Paid off the mother-in-law and got them out of my life forever. ex mother in law. I no longer owe anyone any money. So I am 9 units down from last year. and I have some money in the bank, although I have property taxes in Dec and Feb, also this year I will have capitol gains tax, so I may end up even by April.
Overall, there have been some issues, but for the most part this last year was the steadiest year I've had since being in properties. I have taken 20 years to learn how to get good folks in that want to stay and take care of the place, see it is better to have good people paying less than market and keep them in for 5 years paying. look at it this way, if I charge $1500 and I get it for 5 years that is a clean $90,000.
Let's compare that to getting the most rent but have problems and have to remodel every year or more.
say $1650/mo that's $19,800/yr but wait I had to kick them out and remodel which costs an avg of $4000. So I ended up getting $15,800 that year, but wait, it took me another 2 months to remodel and another month to get it re-rented, so I did not receive any rent for 3 months, so that is $4950 more, brings us to a cost of $8950 which gives us $10,850 for that year. and if I end up doing that every year, that comes to $54,250 for that same 5 year period. That is a loss of $35,750. Not to mention all the time I waste being at the property remodeling, shit don't get done by itself!!
I have many really good tenants now, I don't really have any bad tenants. I have one or two that irritate the shit out of me but they do pay. I don't have anyone that doesn't pay. I have my longest tenant now struggling, I have saved her before, but I am not going to save her anymore. She is now kicking her son out, he is 19 now. And she has a boyfriend who is basically a drifter that says he's a handyman, but he doesn't make any money and he has all his shit over at the house now. I am not happy. Sucks because this is someone I knew and took care of for basically 16 years. And now she avoids contact with me and I am the bad guy. Landlords should not make friends with tenants. At some point they will struggle and since you are friends they will expect you to be soft with them, then when you aren't the first thing they drop is the friendship and then they turn and start telling you all they shit they've done for you. and that you are an asshole and careless, heartless. Get used to this, it's part of the gig. Don't make friends. They are just tenants. When they are bad you have to get rid of them, period. When they start making excuses that is a red flag that will be manifested in problems paying rent, and will be the next eviction. It is inevitable. Don't fight it, let it happen embrace the asshole lifestyle, OR lose lots of money. Money or friends, you decide.
So my properties are coming back nicely. Before the recession I had about $4 million in equity and I owed about 5 million in loans. Now I owe about $2.5 million and have about $1.8 million in equity. I am keeping track of this growth here http://www.simison.com/props/prop-values.html So things are growing.
The new challenge is to decide what to do with the ex, she is now wanting 50% when before in the recession she just wanted the main house because that was the only house with any equity. All the rest were under water. they were worth a negative $800k. yeah so no brainer, now they are coming back she is claiming we never made a deal during the recession. She says they are her properties. Little does she know lawyers told me she would be lucky to get 20% and that they would gladly represent me. So I am considering taking her to the cleaners if she doesn't stop yelling at about what she's entitled to. the part you don't see is that the whole marriage I never asked for any of her money, and she worked fulltime as a high school teacher and kept $80-100,000 per year to herself. I paid for everything, housing, cars, taxes, car registration, kids sports, kids daycare, on and on. She always got mad at me when I had to go and fix property stuff and she would say "why don't you get rid of those stupid properties" And there was a time during the recession when I would tell her things were bac and she would just say "well, this is your thing not mine" totally disconnected from reality. If I am paying for everything and the properties go downhill, then it's going to directly affect her. She is still doing this, I had the loans go up $3000/mo that's $36,000 more gone every year, she didn't bat an eye still sends bills to me like it has nothing to do with her. insane.
So as a partner, she doesn't contribute any money, (we had separate bank accounts because she spent all my money when we made a joint account), doesn't work on any of the properties, never even visited them, and bitches at me about needing to spend time and money on them. And now wants 50%. She should be asking what she can do for me to allow me to spend more time on them to make more money and make our lives even better, but that is not what happened. When the recession hit she just blamed me and accused me of stealing from her. and then wanted a divorce at a time when we had no money and things were so bad, forced me out to spend even more money, putting us in an even tighter situation. and she buys a new car, sending us in deeper debt. Not rational thinking at all. all these events puts us in further jeopardy financially.
anyways, stay tuned .....
Prince was a mess, I had to fix up so much, and then I got an offer for $795,000 but they subtracted money for the wall work the pest report claimed that all the wood under the stucco on the outside wall needed to be replaced. I disagree. but I was losing $20,000/yr on that property so I had to get rid of it, lightning struck and it slingshot out from underwater and went to nearly $800,000. So I pulled the trigger and sold it. Paid off the mother-in-law and got them out of my life forever. ex mother in law. I no longer owe anyone any money. So I am 9 units down from last year. and I have some money in the bank, although I have property taxes in Dec and Feb, also this year I will have capitol gains tax, so I may end up even by April.
Overall, there have been some issues, but for the most part this last year was the steadiest year I've had since being in properties. I have taken 20 years to learn how to get good folks in that want to stay and take care of the place, see it is better to have good people paying less than market and keep them in for 5 years paying. look at it this way, if I charge $1500 and I get it for 5 years that is a clean $90,000.
Let's compare that to getting the most rent but have problems and have to remodel every year or more.
say $1650/mo that's $19,800/yr but wait I had to kick them out and remodel which costs an avg of $4000. So I ended up getting $15,800 that year, but wait, it took me another 2 months to remodel and another month to get it re-rented, so I did not receive any rent for 3 months, so that is $4950 more, brings us to a cost of $8950 which gives us $10,850 for that year. and if I end up doing that every year, that comes to $54,250 for that same 5 year period. That is a loss of $35,750. Not to mention all the time I waste being at the property remodeling, shit don't get done by itself!!
I have many really good tenants now, I don't really have any bad tenants. I have one or two that irritate the shit out of me but they do pay. I don't have anyone that doesn't pay. I have my longest tenant now struggling, I have saved her before, but I am not going to save her anymore. She is now kicking her son out, he is 19 now. And she has a boyfriend who is basically a drifter that says he's a handyman, but he doesn't make any money and he has all his shit over at the house now. I am not happy. Sucks because this is someone I knew and took care of for basically 16 years. And now she avoids contact with me and I am the bad guy. Landlords should not make friends with tenants. At some point they will struggle and since you are friends they will expect you to be soft with them, then when you aren't the first thing they drop is the friendship and then they turn and start telling you all they shit they've done for you. and that you are an asshole and careless, heartless. Get used to this, it's part of the gig. Don't make friends. They are just tenants. When they are bad you have to get rid of them, period. When they start making excuses that is a red flag that will be manifested in problems paying rent, and will be the next eviction. It is inevitable. Don't fight it, let it happen embrace the asshole lifestyle, OR lose lots of money. Money or friends, you decide.
So my properties are coming back nicely. Before the recession I had about $4 million in equity and I owed about 5 million in loans. Now I owe about $2.5 million and have about $1.8 million in equity. I am keeping track of this growth here http://www.simison.com/props/prop-values.html So things are growing.
The new challenge is to decide what to do with the ex, she is now wanting 50% when before in the recession she just wanted the main house because that was the only house with any equity. All the rest were under water. they were worth a negative $800k. yeah so no brainer, now they are coming back she is claiming we never made a deal during the recession. She says they are her properties. Little does she know lawyers told me she would be lucky to get 20% and that they would gladly represent me. So I am considering taking her to the cleaners if she doesn't stop yelling at about what she's entitled to. the part you don't see is that the whole marriage I never asked for any of her money, and she worked fulltime as a high school teacher and kept $80-100,000 per year to herself. I paid for everything, housing, cars, taxes, car registration, kids sports, kids daycare, on and on. She always got mad at me when I had to go and fix property stuff and she would say "why don't you get rid of those stupid properties" And there was a time during the recession when I would tell her things were bac and she would just say "well, this is your thing not mine" totally disconnected from reality. If I am paying for everything and the properties go downhill, then it's going to directly affect her. She is still doing this, I had the loans go up $3000/mo that's $36,000 more gone every year, she didn't bat an eye still sends bills to me like it has nothing to do with her. insane.
So as a partner, she doesn't contribute any money, (we had separate bank accounts because she spent all my money when we made a joint account), doesn't work on any of the properties, never even visited them, and bitches at me about needing to spend time and money on them. And now wants 50%. She should be asking what she can do for me to allow me to spend more time on them to make more money and make our lives even better, but that is not what happened. When the recession hit she just blamed me and accused me of stealing from her. and then wanted a divorce at a time when we had no money and things were so bad, forced me out to spend even more money, putting us in an even tighter situation. and she buys a new car, sending us in deeper debt. Not rational thinking at all. all these events puts us in further jeopardy financially.
anyways, stay tuned .....
Thursday, December 26, 2013
always fixing
Well, first off there is a fuckin leak in P-2. Really pisses me off. I had to go there and I checked the apartment upstairs for any leaks, I tested the sinks and tubs and toilet drains. upstairs and found nothing. I did find the valve washers were leaking so I changed those, and that leak stopped. I ended up going downstairs and cutting out walls to expose the pipes and such. and there is no moisture anywhere! no leaks in any of the walls, no leaks coming from the apartment above. I am baffled as to what happened here. My theory is that they overflowed the tub and got water all over the floor. Then there are cracks on the linoleum and under the linoleum the cement floor was wet. So the water was seeping into the base of the walls and out into the bedroom and hall, a very very slow leak. So i believe they caused this leak and it keeps coming. They keep texting me that it is still leaking. I know there isn't a leak. They flooded it somehow. So because they keep complaining and have no patients I decided to call insurance, just in case it is something else. So I am going to meet the adjuster tomorrow as well as the leak detectors, if there is no leak, then I will tell them to just wait it out and make it dry and do not get the floor wet again.
I wouldn't mind if they moved out. I would remodel and re-rent for $1700. so this may ruin my time off from Stanford, as now I will have to go and do all the work on this place instead of going up to my place in Johnsville and working on the wood flooring, and possibly skiing. I will bring he boys up and see if they can help out on the floors.
Here is a list of things I have had to fix.
700-B - bath faucet started leaking. I looked at it and determined that rather than try to fing the right parts that would fit this kind of faucet and taking the faucet all apart and hopefully fitting all the right parts, I just went a nd bought a new one and installed it. Faster and looks better, but wait it was a holiday, and no stores were open, it was like memorial day or labor day or something. But I remembered I had a faucet at Prince in storage so I went there and got it. Fixed the faucet. Then she told me the porchlight didn't work. errr. So another thing I have to fix. the stores weren't open so I had to come back, making a whole other trip from Mountain View.. I did come down another time later and bought a motion detector. It was found that the old light did not have a box at all, it was just a wire stuck through the stucco!! so I had to create a new box and then hook up the motion detector and drilled it solid into the stucco/plywood. fixed worked great.
Next was the Prince exterior lights, they stopped working for some reason. I just didn't have the time to work on them or even check them out, AND some dickweed stole my 40' ladder!!!! that shit pisses me off. So I called an electrician from Alive electric and had him check it out. He told me all the lights around the house were shorted, and it would cost $2200. I was shocked! I did not know if this was true or not. To check it would mean I would have to take time off from work, but a fuckin ladder, then spend my time at Prince checking all the fuckin lights, then I think how much is my time worth? so I gave him the money and they fixed it all. Now it's bright and nice.
Thermostat is broken at 708-B I paid another tenant to install a new thermostat, and the tenant told me that it was clearly broken off, like smashed by something hard. so that means the tenant I can't stand got mad a broke it off, and now wants me to fix it. Fuck him! he is always breaking shit and wanting me to fix it. He is so full of shit. He also called me the other day and TOLD me I HAVE to get him a bulky pickup. Like I work for this fuckwad!!! So I told him that the bulky pickup is for me when I want to use it, not for him. Fuck him, and he owes me money for his portion the last two months, I should do nothing for this fuckwit.
I replace the wax ring at Olive, and added a spacer as when the time was added the toilet was too high and the wax ring was never touched. So I replaced that and it worked fine.
changed 3 water heaters. at $500 each.
central heater didn't work at MLK, so I went and messed with it and found that if the heater is too hot when starting it won't start, so you have to turn the temp down on the thermostat then restart the main burner under the house then slowly bring it higher, and that worked!! it was a new heater put in for $5000. Sucks that it did not work for that amount of money, the tenant wanted to know how to do it so she wouldn't have to bother me again, I also had to change her kitchen faucet as there wasn't one that fit and hers cracked and sprayed a little stream into the air.
had to fix the toilet running at 24th st. replaced the guts of the toilet, and they have big pit bulls now and this is not part of the lease. Not much I WANT to do about it.
stove repaired at P-2 and P-3.
At Johnsville I put in all new tile in the downstairs foyer, under the washer dryer, in the downstairs bath etc.
some bigger issues with the props:
the partner I went in with at Grand ave, I found out did not pay the prop taxes the last 5 fuckin years, just pocketing the money, and hoping that the bank pays the difference. What a fuckin dick!! so now I am at the mercy of what happens, he won't pay and I am not going to pay, and if the bank doesn't pay then I am liable for half. What a fuckhead. So this will be due by June, then if not paid they may do a tax sale on the prop.
will ruin my credit more.
The long time tenant in MLK has not paid the full amount for the last two months. I am tire do subsidizing her, it is time for them to go.
I need for 720-B to move out, and mlk to move out, and 708-B to move out, that alone would increase my income by $1000 a month.
I am selling Prince I had an offer for $890k but it was taken off.
I need to get rid of this property so that I can save up to $20,000 a year. That's how much I lose every year with this place.
overall everything is getting better.
I wouldn't mind if they moved out. I would remodel and re-rent for $1700. so this may ruin my time off from Stanford, as now I will have to go and do all the work on this place instead of going up to my place in Johnsville and working on the wood flooring, and possibly skiing. I will bring he boys up and see if they can help out on the floors.
Here is a list of things I have had to fix.
700-B - bath faucet started leaking. I looked at it and determined that rather than try to fing the right parts that would fit this kind of faucet and taking the faucet all apart and hopefully fitting all the right parts, I just went a nd bought a new one and installed it. Faster and looks better, but wait it was a holiday, and no stores were open, it was like memorial day or labor day or something. But I remembered I had a faucet at Prince in storage so I went there and got it. Fixed the faucet. Then she told me the porchlight didn't work. errr. So another thing I have to fix. the stores weren't open so I had to come back, making a whole other trip from Mountain View.. I did come down another time later and bought a motion detector. It was found that the old light did not have a box at all, it was just a wire stuck through the stucco!! so I had to create a new box and then hook up the motion detector and drilled it solid into the stucco/plywood. fixed worked great.
Next was the Prince exterior lights, they stopped working for some reason. I just didn't have the time to work on them or even check them out, AND some dickweed stole my 40' ladder!!!! that shit pisses me off. So I called an electrician from Alive electric and had him check it out. He told me all the lights around the house were shorted, and it would cost $2200. I was shocked! I did not know if this was true or not. To check it would mean I would have to take time off from work, but a fuckin ladder, then spend my time at Prince checking all the fuckin lights, then I think how much is my time worth? so I gave him the money and they fixed it all. Now it's bright and nice.
Thermostat is broken at 708-B I paid another tenant to install a new thermostat, and the tenant told me that it was clearly broken off, like smashed by something hard. so that means the tenant I can't stand got mad a broke it off, and now wants me to fix it. Fuck him! he is always breaking shit and wanting me to fix it. He is so full of shit. He also called me the other day and TOLD me I HAVE to get him a bulky pickup. Like I work for this fuckwad!!! So I told him that the bulky pickup is for me when I want to use it, not for him. Fuck him, and he owes me money for his portion the last two months, I should do nothing for this fuckwit.
I replace the wax ring at Olive, and added a spacer as when the time was added the toilet was too high and the wax ring was never touched. So I replaced that and it worked fine.
changed 3 water heaters. at $500 each.
central heater didn't work at MLK, so I went and messed with it and found that if the heater is too hot when starting it won't start, so you have to turn the temp down on the thermostat then restart the main burner under the house then slowly bring it higher, and that worked!! it was a new heater put in for $5000. Sucks that it did not work for that amount of money, the tenant wanted to know how to do it so she wouldn't have to bother me again, I also had to change her kitchen faucet as there wasn't one that fit and hers cracked and sprayed a little stream into the air.
had to fix the toilet running at 24th st. replaced the guts of the toilet, and they have big pit bulls now and this is not part of the lease. Not much I WANT to do about it.
stove repaired at P-2 and P-3.
At Johnsville I put in all new tile in the downstairs foyer, under the washer dryer, in the downstairs bath etc.
some bigger issues with the props:
the partner I went in with at Grand ave, I found out did not pay the prop taxes the last 5 fuckin years, just pocketing the money, and hoping that the bank pays the difference. What a fuckin dick!! so now I am at the mercy of what happens, he won't pay and I am not going to pay, and if the bank doesn't pay then I am liable for half. What a fuckhead. So this will be due by June, then if not paid they may do a tax sale on the prop.
will ruin my credit more.
The long time tenant in MLK has not paid the full amount for the last two months. I am tire do subsidizing her, it is time for them to go.
I need for 720-B to move out, and mlk to move out, and 708-B to move out, that alone would increase my income by $1000 a month.
I am selling Prince I had an offer for $890k but it was taken off.
I need to get rid of this property so that I can save up to $20,000 a year. That's how much I lose every year with this place.
overall everything is getting better.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
rental duties/maintenance
I was called by the girls in the newly renovated apartment, and they said the shower wouldn't turn off. I knew exactly what that was. I should have made sure that the new washers were in place, note to all, when you remodel a place and put in new shower fixtures, always replace all the washers. I replaced 2 out of 3, and as a result I had to drive into Berkeley after work, around 8:30pm and do the change. all is ok now.
I also have to finish the walls downstairs from the waterheater disaster two weeks ago. these guys are great guys but the often don't pay rent til a month and a half later. irritating.
I also have an issue with the side of the house where skinny people are getting into the backyard and doing whatever in the backyard. I need to build something that will keep them out.
I am going to try and start keeping trrack of all the crap I have to do and things I have to deal with.
Like at Olive, the wife has called me and said that she cannot live there if she cannot have bars on the windows. so I was set to put bars on the windows, but then the husband called and told me that she is not happy living in east Oakland, and she wants to leave, but as he grew up there he is quite happy and loves the place and he is not going to move, he went on to tell me that they may get divorced over this. do I need this drama? And on several occasions I have gotten calls from their number but then it hangs up, so I am stressed that they are going to leave or ask for bars or whatever any minute. I would rather they just remain and be happy for the next 4 years.
I have an issue with the boys upstairs in Henry, they are total careless, disrespectful slobs, that play music and party at all hours, the people below complain and have in the past, these guys do pay the rent, but the last time I went in that unit I was appalled at the mess and the damage to walls etc, funny the reason I went there was for the same reason I went into the girls place last night, bad washer in the valve.
Also have the two princesses fighting, and they both want to change the lease to get the other off so they can be in total control. It is not something I care to be a part of, however, now they are paying me staggering amounts of rent, and not paying all of it. I mean one day I get $500, and the next I get $435 and a week later I get $450 and then I get another $475, this irks me, i want one check at one time, and then the princesses can chase down the others at their leisure.
I have a long time tenant in Berkeley, she has been getting a massively reduced rent due to being friends and my sympathy for her situation. but now with the economy and her recent meltdown at work which resulted in her being fired, she is struggling to pay the rent. I have sympathy for her, but this is the kind of thing that eventually just hurts me. I always take care of some folks and trust that they will work it out, but then they never do and I end up losing out in the long run. so with my new 'zero tolerance" policy I am really putting pressure on her to pay. she had also told me years ago that when her son graduated high school, she was going to move to Calaveras. But now she does not appear to be moving, nor is the recent graduate. I have been very generous, years ago I gave her 2 years free rent, she was broke nearly homeless and had a 5 year old, so I took her in. I told her she can just start paying rent when she gets back on her feet. UM ... I didn't expect it to take 2 years. But she did get a job as an office manager for a construction company and over the many years she slowly replaced the kitchen floors, and cabinates, she sanded all wood floors and painted the place, and refinished the old brass knobs, she did a lot of work with donations from her work. so I feel we are even. However, I would love to re-rent that place as I could get alot more in rent now.
anyways drama everywhere that is shoved down my gullet .......
I also have to finish the walls downstairs from the waterheater disaster two weeks ago. these guys are great guys but the often don't pay rent til a month and a half later. irritating.
I also have an issue with the side of the house where skinny people are getting into the backyard and doing whatever in the backyard. I need to build something that will keep them out.
I am going to try and start keeping trrack of all the crap I have to do and things I have to deal with.
Like at Olive, the wife has called me and said that she cannot live there if she cannot have bars on the windows. so I was set to put bars on the windows, but then the husband called and told me that she is not happy living in east Oakland, and she wants to leave, but as he grew up there he is quite happy and loves the place and he is not going to move, he went on to tell me that they may get divorced over this. do I need this drama? And on several occasions I have gotten calls from their number but then it hangs up, so I am stressed that they are going to leave or ask for bars or whatever any minute. I would rather they just remain and be happy for the next 4 years.
I have an issue with the boys upstairs in Henry, they are total careless, disrespectful slobs, that play music and party at all hours, the people below complain and have in the past, these guys do pay the rent, but the last time I went in that unit I was appalled at the mess and the damage to walls etc, funny the reason I went there was for the same reason I went into the girls place last night, bad washer in the valve.
Also have the two princesses fighting, and they both want to change the lease to get the other off so they can be in total control. It is not something I care to be a part of, however, now they are paying me staggering amounts of rent, and not paying all of it. I mean one day I get $500, and the next I get $435 and a week later I get $450 and then I get another $475, this irks me, i want one check at one time, and then the princesses can chase down the others at their leisure.
I have a long time tenant in Berkeley, she has been getting a massively reduced rent due to being friends and my sympathy for her situation. but now with the economy and her recent meltdown at work which resulted in her being fired, she is struggling to pay the rent. I have sympathy for her, but this is the kind of thing that eventually just hurts me. I always take care of some folks and trust that they will work it out, but then they never do and I end up losing out in the long run. so with my new 'zero tolerance" policy I am really putting pressure on her to pay. she had also told me years ago that when her son graduated high school, she was going to move to Calaveras. But now she does not appear to be moving, nor is the recent graduate. I have been very generous, years ago I gave her 2 years free rent, she was broke nearly homeless and had a 5 year old, so I took her in. I told her she can just start paying rent when she gets back on her feet. UM ... I didn't expect it to take 2 years. But she did get a job as an office manager for a construction company and over the many years she slowly replaced the kitchen floors, and cabinates, she sanded all wood floors and painted the place, and refinished the old brass knobs, she did a lot of work with donations from her work. so I feel we are even. However, I would love to re-rent that place as I could get alot more in rent now.
anyways drama everywhere that is shoved down my gullet .......
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